Columns

AphorismsAn aphorism is a short, pointed sentence expressing a wise or clever observation or a general truth.1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. 2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail. 3.

 Good news for Oklahoma, in the case of a zombie apocalypse we are in good shape to survive according to a recent report from Lawnlove.com entitled “Best cities for surviving a Zombie Apocalypse.” Only Oklahoma City made the survey, and it was 81st on the list.

By Kaylee McGhee WhiteMany, many years ago When I was twenty-three, I got married to a widow Who was pretty as could be. This widow had a grown-up daughter Who had hair of red.My father fell in love with her, And soon the two were wed.This made my dad my son-in-law And changed my very life.

Some may have to ask parents/grandparents the meaning of words/phrases. Words can be gone as fast as the buggy whip! It is sad really. The other day I said something to a young fella about driving a Jalopy and he looked at me quizzically and said what the heck is a jalopy? OMG (A newer phrase!

How’s this for some off-beat humor?· First cannibal: “You don’t look well, my friend. What’s wrong?” Second cannibal: “Oh, not much. I guess I’m just fed up with people.”· Years ago, they didn’t put up signs reading “Men Working.” But back then, you could tell when someone was working.

A 92-year-old retired senior pastor was asked to speak at church. The current Associate Pastor wondered why the church even bothered to ask the old gentleman to preach at that age.

I asked my dad one day, “Does Grandpa Bullard know how to drive?” He answered, “Oh I guess he could drive a little if he had to, but he has always been very careful with his money and if he had a car, he wouldn’t want to buy gas for it.” That was beyond my comprehension.

Dear Editor: My original title to this letter was “Will America Stand on the Word of God?” That idea came to me after listening to our distinguish president say, that if the Republicans won the November election, and passed bills against abortion, He would Veto every bill!

Dear Diary, Just moved to Oklahoma! Yee haw and what a wonderful place! Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. It is beautiful. I’ve finally found my home. I love it here.June 14th: Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem.

The boy sure had learned some choice words, no doubt about it. In the school room, on the playground, and at home, he kept ge_ng into trouble on a regular basis for his rather colorful way of expressing his thoughts and feelings.